When is too much too much?

When it comes to food and drink I have to admit I love excess. Perhaps it comes from my childhood when we did not have a lot of money and I was often hungry. There were four of us brothers and sister and we would share one small tin of beans for our tea. Perhaps it come from my love of cooking for others – there is a generosity I love in providing more food and drink than is needed. I am very happy to eat keftovers so ‘too much” is not wasteful for me – just a kindness to my guests.

So when this milkshake was provided for one of my birthday treats last week, I could really appreciate it. Vanilla milkshake with Nutella, chocolate shavings, chocolate brownie, two ice cream sandwiches, and covered in chocolate sauce. I love milkshakes. I love ice-cream. I love chocolate. It is outstanding.

I knew it would be a challenge when my waiter told me “good luck”. But I like a challenge. And 30 minutes later my glass was empty.

I have to admit that after finishing, I felt a little unwell. The sugar rush was great but the come down afterwards left me slightly nauseous and drained of energy. Was this finally the occasion when too much was actually too much?

Well no. I loved the milkshake and in retrospect do not regret a single calorie. Probably once a year is enough but it was delicious.

Just call me Augustus Gloop.

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It’s my birthday and the engine bay is full of smoke

It was my birthday on Wednesday and it was planned to be a very special day. My younger son Martin had joined us on the narrowboat, we had a lovely cruise expected through Stoke on Trent from the lake at Westport down to the village of Barlaston, where we would have dinner in the pub owned by actor Neil Morrisey. It should have been perfect.

But…

About an hour after we set off, the engine suddenly cut out and smoke started to appear around the boards above the engine bay. The picture does not really show how bad it was – when I took the boards up I could not even see the engine for smoke. Taking photographs was the last thing on my mind.

Fortunately there were no flames and nothing was alight but the oil cap had blown off, everything was massively hot, and we were stuck, next to a recycling centre in not the best part of Stoke. And of course, a three hour thunderstorm had just begun.

Even more fortunately we recently renewed our membership of River Canal Rescue (RCR), which is like a car recovery service for boats. I called them and told them my engine had blown up. They calmed me down and convinced me that was not the case, and within 30 minutes they had an engineer with me at the boat.

It took some diagnosis but we eventually realised what had happened. Through simple wear and tear, the bearings in the engine water pump had begun to fail, and caused a vibration. That had “thrown” the drive belt off, which meant that the engine was no longer operating the water pump, and so the engine was no longer being cooled, and simply got hotter and hotter till eventually it boiled off the coolant and everything gave up.

This could have been a massive issue, The cylinder head might have seized, or a major gasket blown. But when it all cooled down and we turned the engine on, everything still worked.

So we moored up properly, RCR ordered a new water pump, and found a local engineer who could fit it the following morning. It did take a lot of work with a mallet and a crowbar to get the old pump off, but by 1130 the following morning we were all fixed and on our way.

So what have I learnt? Nothing new but some lessons reinforced.

  • Living on a narrowboat s**t happens. It will be OK. Get over it.
  • Expert help is invaluable, even just to reassure. Well worth paying for,
  • Planning is great, but the unexpected is always just around the corner.

So what about my birthday? Well using taxis we still had that delicious meal. And we have planned an alternative birthday on Sunday, when we should be moored in a marina, with access to a car. That should be a very special day. And I do not regret my birthday. It was an adventure. Retirement is all about adventures,.

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Hatching week

We have been travelling the Peak Forest Canal this week, a sidearm off the Macclesfield, that was used originally for transporting limestone from the Peak District quarries. These days the industry has gone and it is very beautiful as it clings to the sides of steep hills, with far views across the national park. As we travelled towards the end at Bugsworth Basin, we noticed a number of ducks and geese sitting on their nests. We also saw one goose with four new baby goslings, which were cute.

Just a few days later we returned along the canal and were astonished to find maybe fifty families of geese and ducks with goslings and ducklings. It made me wonder how they all hatch at once. I understand the principle that hatching in late spring gives the best chance of survival, but for so many to arrive within a few days is pretty incredible.

It reminds me of a holiday we once had at a house in Islay, an island off the West Coast of Scotland. When we arrived we asked if there would be many midges, the infamous biting insects of that part of the world. The property owner said that they would come the following Thursday, which we guessed was a random date, plucked from the air. But no, we had no insects till the Thursday, when clouds of them suddenly arrived.

Nature is a wonderful thing.

Not a bad way to spend our retirement.

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What is your go to comfort food?

I had a couple of long days away from the boat this week to go to a funeral in the south of England. I stayed over with my son and he reminded me that when he was growing up I had introduced him to cheese and tomato on crackers, my “go to” comfort food. When I returned to the boat on Monday night, it was the first and only thing I wanted to eat.

These were introduced to me by my music teacher some 37 years ago. The original and best is a Jacob’s Cream Cracker, buttered lightly and with a slice of cheddar and a slice of tomato, with just a little salt. The ones in my photo from this week were a little posher, involving fancy crackers, and “Calverley Crunch” a vintage cheese from a canalside shop we found last week. I recommend them with a glass of gin and tonic, a glass of port, or just a cup of tea. At the end of a stressful day, when you can’t be bothered to cook, and you just want something homely, nothing is better.

What is your comfort food after a tough day? Maybe beans on toast? Or Doritos and Salsa from a jar? Or even a big bowl of cornflakes? Whatever it is, I bet it has as much to do with when you first ate it, as what is tastes like. Comfort food is about comforting memories removing all the stress of the moment. And it is a good thing.

I’d love to hear in the comments what your choice would be. Let me know.

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I ❤️ Heartbreak Hill

There are a number of “must do” places on the UK canal network – Bingley Five Rise, Salterhouse Dock, The Curly Wurlys near Skipton, Caen Hill Locks, Pontcysylllte Aqueduct, the Falkirk Wheel, the Kelpies, Barton Swing Aqueduct, Anderton Boat Lift, the Boat Museum in Ellesmere Port. We are lucky enough to have visited all of these, and this week we added another of our favourites – Heartbreak Hill. Over just 12 miles between Middlewich and Kidsgrove we climbed 31 locks. And we really enjoyed the experience.

A quick quiz question before I tell you more. If you look carefully in the photo above at the footbridge, you will see it has a small gap in the middle. Why?

Between Mandy, me and the two dogs we make a great team for things like Heartbreak Hill. She tends to steer the boat, and with the dogs’ help I do the paddles and gates. Doing a stretch like Heartbreak Hill gets us into such a routine that much is done almost unconsciously. For instance these are deep locks, and going uphill we have to make sure not to let too much water into the lock too quickly, or the currents will bang the boat into the lock gates. Instead we have developed a technique of two turns of the windlass, wait two minutes and then the next two turns.

And because we were rising we saw some amazing views across the Cheshire countryside. At the end of the “hill” we were all tired but very happy. I love Heartbreak Hill.

And the gap on the footbridge? Back in the day, narrowboats were towed by a horse with a rope, and the gap allowed the boat to do locks without unhitching the horse. Every day is a school day on the canals.

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Does perfection need planning?

I am often accused of over planning. Be more spontaneous I am told. Let life decide. Relax and enjoy.

But we went to a completely perfect wedding this week – our niece Lucy and her new husband Dan. And Lucy had planned it to within an inch of its life. I genuinely do not think it could have been any better.

The Coleman clan

The ceremony itself was just the right side of emotional, with few cheeks left unblemished by a tear. Then a wonderful confetti procession, a delicious meal, waiters who unexpectedly turned into singers and dancers, a saxophonist, a late night pizza van, and dancing into the night. Add in a couple of inevitable family dramas, and it’s was perfection.

Most importantly of course, Lucy and Dan had the day that they had wanted and that had been in planning for so long. And I think that everyone enjoyed themselves, from the young kids, to the oldies. Thanks Lucy & Dan and congratulations.

Of course I understand there is a place for spontaneity, and some of my best moments are unplanned. Perhaps emerging from a tunnel in the boat, when we discover a new view over amazing countryside. Perhaps when we bump into old friends unexpectedly. Perhaps when we decide on a whim to have an adventure.

But to quote the A-Team (showing my age I know) “I love it when a plan comes together”.

What about you? Are you a planner or a discoverer?

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Back in Scotland. Wishing we were on the boat.

We have had to return to Scotland for a couple of weeks. A few minutes after we crossed the border we saw this sky, welcoming us home with the flag. But in truth Mandy and I are already missing the boat.

Our niece Lucy is getting married so we need someone to look after the dogs while we go to the wedding. We are very excited about their big day and to see all the families but we still want to get back to the boat.

We are also going up to the farm in St Andrews where another niece, Rachael, and her family live. We have not seen two year old Fred for a while, and it is lambing time, and Mandy’s brother and sister in law are there, so we are very much looking forward to that. But we still want to get back to the boat.

While we are in Scotland we have arranged to see the doctor, dentist, get the smart meters fixed, get the dogs hair cut for the summer, get our own hair cut. Some of these are really tricky to do when we are travelling. For instance, a doctor visit is difficult because the Scottish and English National Health Services do not talk to each other. So all important things to do, but we still want to get back to the boat.

I know. We are very privileged and so lucky to have these opportunities. It is important to love every day and not just wish for the future. And I do. It will be a wonderful wedding, excellent to see Fred and all. I am even excited about the smart meters!

But I still want to get back to the boat.

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What to do on a narrowboat when the canal is closed?

We were let down by the Canal and River Trust (CRT) this week. After a lovely weekend on the Montgomery Canal in Wales, we set off back along the Lllangollen with the aim to get to a mooring in Chester this Saturday. Unfortunately, when we got to Grindley Brook locks on Monday afternoon, we received this email from CRT:

There is a reality that with a 250 year old canal network, there will be times when things break unexpectedly. But in this case it was planned work, and we should have been notified well in advance. I am set up so that I get emails about any stoppages on the canals we travel, so that we can plan around them, and if this notice had been issued on 17th March, as it should have, we would have been well beyond the area before work started. But apparently they had a “system issue” which I suspect was more likely a “forgot to press the button issue”, so we did not know until too late.

This gave me two challenges. Firstly how to react to the CRT cock up. Should I get angry and shout at the poor agent on the end of the CRT helpline? Should I move the boat up to the stoppage area and shout at the workmen to work faster? Neither would have any impact except perhaps to make me feel better. No, after reflection we decided to treat the incident as one of those things that happens when you live on a narrowboat, and to make the most of it.

So my second challenge was how to make the most of it. I have been able to get a few jobs done on the boat – touching up some scratched paint, adding diesel bug inhibitor to my fuel tank, checking my weed hatch, getting a load of shopping. But much more fun has been a couple of bus adventures to local towns – Whitchurch and Shrewsbury. Shrewsbury in particular is a really lovely town, with Roman remains, a Norman mott and bailey castle, Medieval and Tudor shop fronts, and a bustling indoor market full of craft and food stalls.

The way I look at it is that if CRT had not made their mistake, I would never have had these extra few days, and to have had my adventures.

But I still hope that the work completes this afternoon and we can get back on our way. Living on a narrowboat is fun. Travelling on a narrowboat is more fun.

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Losing my glasses

We are now properly set off for our 2023 narrowboat adventure. Our first canal is the Llangollen, one of the prettiest navigations in the UK. It gets extremely busy during the summer, so an early season visit makes sense. The weather has been a bit drizzly, but nothing we can’t cope with, and the scenery is beautiful. But on our first day out (Wednesday) I made the massive mistake of dropping my glasses in the canal.

These are expensive glasses and the only pair I have on the boat, so as they sank under the water, more than a few expletives came from my mouth. Fortunately we were just mooring at the time, so I knew pretty much where they had gone in. Unfortunately, my magnet fishing line did not find them – possibly no steel in the frames. I was not willing to give up, so I stripped down to my underwear and a T Shirt, and got in.

Boy it was cold, but I was determined, and after about ten minutes feeling along the silt with my feet, I discovered something that could be what I wanted, so I dipped under the water to pick up whatever it was – and it was my glasses!

A hot shower and fresh clothes, and a wash of my glasses and everything turned out well. No scratches, on me or the specs. I realise I was fortunate, and am grateful everything turned out well. Lesson learnt – don’t wear glasses when playing with ropes over the rear of a boat.

Have you ever lost and found something important? How did you feel?

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It may be snowing but it’s cozy inside the narrowboat

It is so good to be back on the boat.

It has been convenient to live in a house over winter. Easy to keep clean. Things don’t break as often. Plenty of space. But I have missed the boat.

The new kitchen was finally finished on Tuesday, so I drove down Wednesday with a car full of everything we need for a season – clothes, towels, crockery, cutlery, bedding. I am very pleased with the work the boat yard have done and they have kept the boat relatively tidy. Last year I had to clean lots of mould from surfaces. But this year a quick steam clean of the floor, a wipe of the insides of the cupboards, and we are fine. I have learnt that the key is to allow plenty of air circulation, so moving the bed away from the wall, having several windows open a little, and giving everything a good clean before we leave the boat in the autumn. All these things have helped.

I’m heading back to Scotland later, and then will return with Mandy and the dogs over the weekend. My plan was to get going early next week, with our first trip on the Lllangollen and Montgomery canals through Wales. But the forecast is that the current snow and sleet will continue all week, so I will have to do some pretty fancy negotiating to persuade Mandy that it is better to travel than to hunker down with the cozy stove in the boat.

Gongoozlers (people who like to watch the boats but don’t have one) often ask me if it is cold living on a narrowboat. You might think so because there is just a single metal skin and little insulation. But in fact they are very easy to keep warm and do not use much energy because there is such a small airspace inside. As I write this, it is lovely to watch the snow falling outside while feeling cozy and warm inside, with the boat very gently rocking in the wind.

But I have a list of jobs to be done. I would like to give the kitchen walls a quick coat of paint to make them look as fresh as the new units for when Mandy arrives.

I’m ready for the summer – in the snow. Are you?

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