I have written in previous blogs about our favourite hotel – Swinton Park in North Yorkshire. We have stayed at least once a year since it opened in 2001. Indeed, I once stayed in 1989, long before it was a hotel. It used to be a training college and I was sent on one of those team building courses that were all the rage in the ‘80s; mixing team theory with raft building and high rope walks.

What we have always liked about Swinton is the mix of relaxation and luxury. I am writing this in the Drawing Room, with lots of comfy sofas, a piano playing, and a log fire. You don’t get that in a Premier Inn.

This year we are trying something different. As well as the hotel rooms, ranging from cozy to massive suites, they now have cottages you can rent. And in January they do amazing offers, with prices about a third of rack rate. So we are staying in High Swinton Cottage for three nights, over Mandy’s birthday. It has a comfortable lounge, a dining room and a large stone kitchen.

It has the benefits of self catering where we have our own space, but still being next to the hotel we can easily use the facilities here. Mandy has a massage booked this afternoon, and we are having a fancy meal in the restaurant tonight. Tomorrow, we are seeing a birds of prey display, taking afternoon tea, and wandering along a winter light trail through the very large grounds.

But I am finding it a little strange. Sitting here in the hotel, I feel like an interloper, and when I am in the cottage it is not quite the luxury of the hotel. I think it would have been better if we were sharing with friends or family but with last minute booking we could not make that work this time.

I know what Mandy would say. I am sweating the small stuff instead of enjoying the visit. We are so lucky to have these choices. It is a great way to be retired. So I will just look out of the Drawing Room window to see the deer and the pheasants. I will listen to the automatic pianist playing themes from the shows. I will put another log on the fire. And I will try my very best to enjoy the moment instead of worrying about what comes next.

I find that so hard.