Should retired couples spend time apart?

I am in India this week. When I was working I used to travel here quite.a lot because I had teams in Delhi and Chennai. My last visit was in February 2020. I had meant to return that autumn, to say goodbye to my teams before retirement. Unfortunately the pandemic scuppered my plans and I was not able to see my teams in person, either in the UK or India. So this visit is my chance to meet up with some of those ex colleagues, as well as a chance to see some of the areas of India where I have never visited.

The India Parliament buildings from one of my walks
this week

I would love to have brought my wife, Mandy, but she would have hated the noise, the mix of wealth and poverty, and the spiced food which characterise this wonderful country. So we are away from each other for two weeks. Since I retired, this is the first time we have been apart for so long. For much of that time have lived every moment together, in the small tin can that is our narrowboat.

Given that for much of my career I would be away from home during the week, it is amazing we have not killed each other, being together all the time. There have certainly been moments when I have thoroughly irritated Mandy. But being together has become our new normal, and I have to say that being so far apart this week is feeling very odd. We video chat every day, but I am used to sharing my adventures and I am missing her.

But I know that logically it is important we retain our own identities. We are more than just a couple and this holiday is giving me a chance to do my own thing while no doubt back in Scotland, Mandy will be relishing having her own space. I am only three days into the trip, and by the end, I hope to have relaxed into solo travelling.

Do you think spending time apart is good for a relationship, or should we just be enjoying our time together? What do you think?

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