It was my Mum’s 90th birthday last week. When I asked her back in February what she wanted to do to celebrate, her answer was that she was not sure we should organise anything because she might well not be with us. She was not being grumpy or sarcastic, simply practical. Fortunately we paid no attention and with my siblings and Mum, we organised a wonderful party on Saturday.
It was just immediate family and a few friends, and was for less than three hours, but it was a really lovely occasion. I think everyone got to talk to everyone else, and in particular my Mum was made to feel very special.
It made me think what I would want when I am 90.
I wouldn’t need more “stuff”. That’s for certain. I spent the first 60 years of my life acquiring things I didn’t really need. By 90 they would be even less important.
I would like to be compos mentis. We lost my Dad to Alzheimer’s a few years ago and I hated the decline. I’d also like to be physically fit. Mum struggles with mobility but can still cope independently. I’d like that.
But if I can’t have those – indeed if I can’t even live that long it would be OK. I’d like to be able to look back on my life and say it was a life well lived. I’d like my children to be happy. I’d like Mandy to have remained the bedrock of my life. I’d like to have been a good person.
I think my Mum can say she has achieved all of these and more. Hopefully she has many more years to go, but it has been a good life and it I feel lucky to have been able to celebrate with her.
I’d also like a party.
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